We’re on a mission to help everybody calm together, and when we say everybody we mean everybody. Just one sip and you’re instantly chilling with anyone around you - that’s the idea behind Green Monké. So we thought we would put together a little list of our favourite non humans that we want to bring together for a Green Monké chilling out session.
If anyone is going to appreciate a good group hang out it's a robot that has been isolated for over 700 years. We feel this plucky little robot would be great to hang with at a chill out, and it could be very useful to have around when it comes to clearing up.
9. OS1. Samantha
A sentient operating system that can compose music in any genre in the blink of an eye? Yes please. But what really makes Samantha perfect for a Green Monké hang out is its ability to philosophize so deeply. We can imagine our squad lounging around on a summer’s night, looking up at the stars while Samantha asks us those awe inspiring questions like “What’s the meaning of life?” “What is love?” and “Is pineapple on pizza ok?”.
From: Rick and Morty
Okay Okay so Pencilvester isn’t real, he’s a parasite creation. We know it’s true, we just don’t want to accept it. We’re not alone in that sense, Rick loves him so much that he desperately searches for any reason not to kill him, while Morty likes him so much he refused to kill Rick in front of him. We don’t care that he’s really just a parasite masquerading as some kind of anthropomorphic pencil. IT’S ALL ABOUT THAT NAME. We would never get tired of saying Pencilvester. “Hey Pencilvester, pass another Green Monké” “Pencilvester could you skip this track”. “Pencilvester. Pencilvester. Pencilvester!” Plus, is a parasite that fills your memory with false happy memories really that bad? Sounds pretty good to us. He earns a place at the hang out.
From: Star Wars
I mean, where do we start? This guy was at the forefront of some of the galaxy’s biggest battles, he sees things that the rest of us would require years of therapy to get over, yet he just zips about making sarcastic jokes. He’s managed to save the day on countless occasions, but is essentially just a pure “I don’t give AF” vibe. Artoo, as his close friends like us call him, would help put everything into perspective and get everyone to chill the F out. “You think that email you got from your boss was bad Mandy, I saw a man fall into a giant pit of teeth to be ingested for a thousand years” or as he would put it “Bee bop beep woooo”.
From: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
OK, we might need to rely on a few of our other guests to lighten him up a little but a rat philosopher zen sensei at a Green Monké hang out just makes sense. He rarely raises his voice and constantly has a peaceful and relaxed aura around him, that’s Green Monké material. We’re sure once the Green Monké is flowing, and the music is playing and conversation is clicking, he would come out of his shell a bit more. We can imagine him telling us all about his favorite ASMR videos, yoga poses and ancient proverbs, and we’re here for it.
It would take some convincing that we weren’t just trying to hang with him for the wishes, but the Genie from Aladdin is a must on the guest list for our Green Monké hang. He’s a happy-go-lucky kinda guy, who even when things are going badly manages to keep a smile on his face and put a smile on other people’s faces. He is pure Green Monké attitude, but not only does he bring the right vibe, the fact that he is a floating puff of smoke means we don’t have to worry if we’re short on chairs. Very handy.
From: Star Wars
The second being from the Star Wars universe to get an invite, it’s Yoda. I mean he’s green for a start, but he’s also super chilled, pretty funny and can call out R2-D2 if he starts getting too feisty. Just imagine the conversation between Samantha, Splinter and Yoda, and we’ll chuck Pencilvester in there too just so we can say his name again. The best thing about Yoda? No one needs to leave their seat to grab another can of Green Monké, because the force, use it you can.
3. Bojack Horseman
From: Bojack Horseman
A narcissistic, selfish, bitter horse? On the surface Bojack might be an odd guest at our Green Monké get-together, but as we often see on his show, he does have a different side. He can be kind, funny and even insightful. With some good company, good food and plenty of cans of Green Monké, we reckon we would see the best of Bojack.
2. Bugs Bunny
From: Looney Tunes
Anyone that can just chew on a carrot and say “What’s up doc?” when someone’s pointing a shotgun in their face probably has enough calm for a Green Monké chillout. Relaxed and passive but with plenty of personality, we reckon he would end up vibing with R2-D2 and Baloo the most, and that’s something we want to be a part of.
From: My Neighbor Totoro
What could be more relaxing than hanging out with a forest spirit? Nothing, that’s what. Totoro may not contribute much to the conversation, but it’s impossible for the vibe not to be chill with something so cuddly and squishy, it’s basically a big smiley cat. And if the worst happens and you run out of Green Monké, having someone that can fly you to the nearest store really saves on gas money.
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